Outside the box- 4 Rambling Ramshackles

I was reviewing my last post and a thought came to mind:
I wonder how many Muslims were killed in the 9/11 attack that was meant to punish "Infidels."
Seems like something's wrong about that.

But anyway that's not what's on my mind today. Today it's that intangible emotion that we call "Love" and relationships in general.

I think, and this is just my stance, that relationships should not be all about sex. I mean if you want to have it, fine. That's only natural. but, I believe that a real relationship shouldn't be ABOUT the sex. Sex should be this nice thing that you share with your partner, not the biggest reason that you're with your partner. maybe this is just about what I want. I guess if all two people want is sex that's fine.

But, in the type of relationship that I would want, it would be about closeness, about friendship, about love. I would want sex to be the icing on the cake, but not the cake. and hey! there's nothing wrong with a lot of icing if the cake is good.

That leads me into my next view, about what love actually is.

This is opinion heavy but I don't care at the moment. It's what's on my mind and nobody reads this.

To me, love is first and foremost a friendship. If I truly love someone, I should be able to tell them that they're my best friend. In the most successful marriages the people say they "Married their best friend." It's true. I wouldn't ever be with someone in a serious relationship if I couldn't honestly say they were my best friend. Best friends make the best lovers.

Beyond that though, there's another layer. There's chemistry. That eerie feeling that you know this person but you haven't met them before. The millions of little things about them that may seem insignificant to other people, but that you find magnetic. It can be as small as their favorite book and as big as their ability to intellectually challenge you. There's no way to remember them all. and when you re-discover them you just fall in deeper.

Then there's the icing. The physical aspect. for me, this is almost a given if the other two are present, but that's not for everyone. I am a more cerebral creature than anything. My biggest sexual desire is to fulfill my loved one's sexual desires. If they're happy I'm happy. In general though, I think if you love each other it should be about fulfilling each other's needs, and not just about fulfilling your own.

So that's basically what love is to me, disregarding the emotional part. I could include the feeling of wanting that person to always be there, or wanting to wrap yourself around them like you're Alfonse Elric from Full Metal Alchemist. I could have even described the intense desire to take care of them when they're ill, to help them, and to provide for them.

I don't want a fuck buddy. I want a partnership.